“Do you know who I am?”

The Judiciary Committee here at GOML headquarters has proposed new sentencing guidelines for anyone who uses the phrase, “Do you know who I am?” in the commission of a crime. All prison time should be doubled with no possibility of consideration for good behavior. Clearly, the “good behavior” ship has sailed and it isn’t coming back.

The answer to the question, “Do you know who I am?” is virtually always, “No ones gives a rat’s ass who you are, and be careful  suggesting you deserve special treatment, because you just might get it.”

A couple of days ago, a 23-year-old punk named Joseph Daniel Hudek IV assaulted a flight attendant and a couple of passengers while trying to open the emergency door of a plane an hour out of  Seattle heading to Beijing. Maybe he was trying to kill himself (and others). Maybe he was having a psychotic break. Maybe he’s a tweaker who had too much. Don’t know, don’t care. During the mêlée, he shouted “Do you know who I am?”, thus automatically disqualifying him from any sympathetic consideration of his actions.


Saying these words immediately establishes his guilt, irrespective of mitigating circumstances, such as mental illness. Saying these words is worse than fat-shaming, which is worse than just about anything else.

First of all, he’s nobody. But that really isn’t the point. He thinks he’s somebody, possibly Napoleon, or perhaps a super-hero who can fly without the assistance of an airplane. Or he thinks his mother is somebody, and therefore he is somebody. He was flying in First Class as a non-rev on a “dependent pass”, and apparently the mother works for Delta in some capacity. Also irrelevant.

After smashing a wine bottle over his head to no effect, the crew enlisted the help of some passengers who finally were able to get Joey into some comfy zip-ties. Here’s what the galley looked like at that point:


In this country, even if you are “somebody”, you’re nobody. If the people you’re beefing with haven’t already taken your identity into consideration, trying to convince them of your “status” in the middle of a set-to only makes things worse.

Remember the “Nut Rage” incident a couple of years ago?  It was another “Do you know who I am?” incident. Cho Hyun-ah, at the time an executive of Korean Air and the daughter of its CEO, had a big jet turned around on the runway in New York and returned to the gate, inconveniencing hundreds of other passengers. The problem? Her macadamia nuts had been served in a bag, not on a plate.

From the link:

She has denied physically assaulting the chief steward, Park Chang-jin, who says she made him kneel and beg for forgiveness before jabbing him with a document folder.

She then ordered the plane to go back to the terminal at New York’s JFK airport to offload the attendant, who was fired on the spot before the plane proceeded on its journey. He has since been reinstated.

Her father, Korean Air chairman Cho Yang-Ho, has apologised for his daughter’s “foolish act”. Mr Cho also said his daughter would step down from all her posts in companies under the Cho family-owned Hanjin Group, which also owns Korean Air.

This is just the beginning of what should happen to this special snowflake, but it didn’t work out that way. She was sentenced to 10 months in prison, as the international outrage she sparked demanded, but the court suspended the sentence, so if she doesn’t turn any other jets around for two years, she won’t have to go to prison at all.

From this piece about the incident:

The episode cannot be explained “except by the fact that Vice President Cho Hyun-ah was a member of the chairman’s family,” said the civic group People’s Solidarity for Participatory Democracy. It said the case exemplified how the personal wishes of a member of the family that owns a leading South Korean conglomerate often override official regulations and common sense.

“No pilot is going to oppose an order from the daughter of the company owner,” said Lee Gae-ho, a lawmaker affiliated with the New Politics Alliance for Democracy, the main opposition party.

Fortunately, in the United States, being the daughter of the boss doesn’t give you the right to make policy that affects people’s lives.  Everyone knows we have nepotism laws that ensure we operate as a meritocracy.

I haven’t read this article, yet, which is entitled “Ivanka Trump takes father’s seat at G-20 leaders’ table in break from diplomatic protocol”, but I’m sure we have nothing to worry about.

Ivanka in charge


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