Secretary of Something or Other

OK, kids, are you ready for a pop quiz?

One of the following things was actually said by Secretary of Energy Rick Perry this week. Two were said in presentations at which I’ve been present, and one was said to a reader of GOML recently. Which did Perry say?

1) “Our department does what the boss wants. We jump, he says how high.”

2) “It will be clear when I show you this chart. A picture tells a thousand stories.”

3) “Here’s a little economics lesson: supply and demand. You put the supply out there and the demand will follow.”

4) “Men can’t be virgins, because they don’t have a heimlich”.

Here’s a clue: Rick Perry got a D in “Principles of Economics” at Texas A&M. Yup, he was the author of the crazy upside-down version of “supply and demand”  but, to be honest, it wouldn’t shock me to learn he’s said all of the others at some point.


Perry was visiting a coal-fired plant in West Virginia and explaining why we should produce as much coal as possible, since there will be a demand for it no matter what. Or something. He may have been thinking of, “If you build it, they will come”, but it’s hard to know.

But here’s the thing. You can’t point out that this guy’s an idiot who doesn’t know anything about the area he’s in charge of, because you’d just be proving what everyone already knows, which is that you are an Eastern liberal elitist who thinks he’s smarter than people who support Trump. And also you hate America and don’t want to make it great.

And we all knew what he meant anyway, just as we all understand what the people who said the other three things in the quiz meant. He meant coal is good. And climate change is a hoax. No “real” American could disagree, so just keep your stupid “corrections” to yourself, mmm-kay?

In other cabinet-level news this week, 18 states are suing Secretary of Education, Betsy DeVos for allegedly “unlawfully delaying new federal regulations designed to protect student loan borrowers from being ripped off by for-profit colleges and other schools.”





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